A Favor

Dear Family and Friends, I was speaking with someone who has become a dear friend, about how to celebrate Sue and my 50th wedding anniversary. Last year in lieu of celebrating the anniversary, when our kids and grandkids came together, we celebrated May birthdays. My friend told me that it was very important to celebrate our anniversary since we are still married to each other even if she is no longer in this world. She certainly lives in my heart. So...the favor...This friend suggested collecting memories for what will become either a memory wall, a scrapbook, or part of the book which I am putting together with the help of a student of these blogs. If you are reading this (and I hope you are), could you send me a memory by email at rabbibruce@gmail.com with the subject "memories of Sue" so I can search for them since I will be traveling. A number of you reading these blogs knew Sue and some of you know her from stories I have told. Perhaps you could share a memory or a story which has made an impression on you. As I prepare to celebrate my birthday tomorrow, to visit the marker at her burial site on Monday, and to head to the Midwest for a family gathering for the anniversary on May 23, I am filled with intensely mixed emotions. I am being surrounded by friends and family and Sue would be grateful that you are keeping an eye on me. There are no words to express my appreciation to all of you as I have said numerous times. Your continued outreach represents a level of caring that I never thought was really possible in today's busy world. A number of you have asked me which was our favorite anniversary and I will share one very special memory. It was our 36th wedding anniversary which is double chai or life. I gave Sue 36 purple roses and told her she deserved a purple heart for staying married to me. She kept a picture (she kept very little:-)) of the flowers and the note. Well, 14 years later, as I celebrate and grieve simultaneously, we gave each other our hearts. What greater gift is there than that? Finally, I was speaking at a memorial service recently and quoted a line in the song, "Hotel California" sung by the Eagles. Please listen to the words where the lyrics say, "you can check out, but never leave." Sue may have "checked out" but she will never EVER leave my heart and I am grateful for her love. She gave me her soul and in return, I gave her mine. She was/is and always will be as it says on our wedding rings, my beloved and my friend. (And she also received a lifetime of jokes and baseball games:-)) Shabbat shalom, Sabbath peace, Rabbi Bruce Aft

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