Rabbi Bruce's Reflections on Life

Dear Friends and Family, I have asked this question many times throughout the past year..."Who knew????" It was a normal (whatever that means) day on April 1, 2025. I was sitting on the loveseat, Sue was sitting at the dining room table, and who knew that this would be Sue's last full day of life as we knew it???? I was on the phone with our insurance agent and after I told her a joke, she said she had told clients that she has a client who told good jokes. I put her on speaker and asked her to repeat that for Sue. I said to Sue that even our insurance agent liked my jokes and Sue just nodded her head. Then the insurance agent called out "April Fools" and I realized that I had been set up for an April fools joke about her telling people that I told good jokes. Sue thought that was very funny (I may never recover:-)) and then I left to teach and Sue went to the dentist to see if her mouth pain was a dental issue. I came back later that night (who knew ...

Dear Friends, Family, and Students, I confess that if you read this carefully, you will witness the journey of a lost soul who has struggled to find a ray of hope and healing in the midst of a year of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and tripping, falling, getting up, falling, getting up, and being escorted by angels. The journey I am about to describe is very intense for me and I hope you will be patient and gentle if you choose to respond. This week marks the year anniversary or yahrzeit on the Hebrew calendar of when Sue passed away. Please forgive the emotion and please be assured I am okay. I know that many of you worry about the intensity of these blogs, some of you probably think I am crazy, some of you would probably like to be taken off the mailing list, and some of you just delete them. I don't know what the future will bring, but I have found an editor and will be devoting my energy to putting these into a book so you may not be burdened by many...

Dear Friends, As I prepare to leave for Poland, I wanted to share a prayer that a dear student and friend sent. (See below) Please put the link into your browser since I don't know that you can open it. As we experience the horrors of the Holocaust, I hope that we will fill our lives with compassion. We will be visiting sites where we will see cruelty and hatred. May we all journey safely through our worlds, building loving relationships and practicing kindness. I can think of no better way to honor Sue. Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Bruce Aft Video to Song: source:%20YouTube https://share.google/6d20jTeQKPRW8EH9P

Dear Friends and Family, They tell me the journey is non linear and once again this week was proof that the valley of the shadow of death is a huge valley. I had the privilege of officiating at a wedding of a child of a close friend of Sue's and experienced the joy of the wedding. As the groom broke the glass to remind us that even in joy there is sadness I was momentarily overwhelmed realizing that Sue wasn't there to experience the happiness of being with her friend at this wonderful occasion. But THEN, everyone yelled mazel tov and the celebration continued. As the clock turned on 48 weeks yesterday I continue to ask those with whom I am close, when will I be able to experience the joy which I am sure that Sue would want me to experience. I wish I knew what she would be saying to me if she could tell me what her wishes were for me at this point in the grieving process. I continue to remember her positive attitude and as a close friend told me recently, the importanc...

Dear Friends and Family, Some revelations this week that I need to share and I want to also let you know about the special program in Sue's honor this week. Sue's birthday is this Tuesday and it is another first to experience.  I will be surrounded by family from today through her birthday which will be immensely supportive.  So many of you have continued to reach out and as I approach the completion of the year of mourning, your ongoing caring is unprecedented in my experience as a rabbi.  Everyone has people who support them, but the depth and quantity of the love and kindness I have received is a reminder that love changes everything.  Sue would be inspired by the ways in which you have taken care of me and it is a tribute to her that kindness does make a difference in a world that isn't always kind. As I have had to rabbinically guide a number of people recently as they are dealing with illness and death, I have finally accepted that although my faith in  and career...

Dear Friends, So much has happened in the past week. I appreciate your bearing with me in what is once again an emotional roller coaster. Folks tell me this journey is non linear and this week exemplified that BIG TIME. The week began with speaking at the funeral of a 47 year old former student and friend of our older children. As I tried to comfort the bereaved, it was a stark reminder of the fact that many of us suffer tragedies and I can't imagine what this family is going through. Sue was in certain ways like a mom to this student and she had deep feelings about his kindness and caring. She encouraged him and mentored him and it was a reminder of how important simple acts of caring can be. In conversations with a member of the family, they introduced me to the Buddhist idea that when we experience a tragic loss, it is like an arrow going through our hearts. We are in pain and often look to try to find reasons for our pain. That can lead to the second arrow which is th...