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From Treblinka to Auschwitz to Budapest to Prague...I Can't Believe It Has Been a Year....

Dear Friends, Family, and Students, I confess that if you read this carefully, you will witness the journey of a lost soul who has struggled to find a ray of hope and healing in the midst of a year of walking through the valley of the shadow of death and tripping, falling, getting up, falling, getting up, and being escorted by angels. The journey I am about to describe is very intense for me and I hope you will be patient and gentle if you choose to respond. This week marks the year anniversary or yahrzeit on the Hebrew calendar of when Sue passed away. Please forgive the emotion and please be assured I am okay. I know that many of you worry about the intensity of these blogs, some of you probably think I am crazy, some of you would probably like to be taken off the mailing list, and some of you just delete them. I don't know what the future will bring, but I have found an editor and will be devoting my energy to putting these into a book so you may not be burdened by many...
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49 weeks/On my way to Poland

Dear Friends, As I prepare to leave for Poland, I wanted to share a prayer that a dear student and friend sent. (See below) Please put the link into your browser since I don't know that you can open it. As we experience the horrors of the Holocaust, I hope that we will fill our lives with compassion. We will be visiting sites where we will see cruelty and hatred. May we all journey safely through our worlds, building loving relationships and practicing kindness. I can think of no better way to honor Sue. Shabbat shalom, Rabbi Bruce Aft Video to Song: source:%20YouTube https://share.google/6d20jTeQKPRW8EH9P
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48 Weeks...From Joy to Sorrow to Joy to Poland

Dear Friends and Family, They tell me the journey is non linear and once again this week was proof that the valley of the shadow of death is a huge valley. I had the privilege of officiating at a wedding of a child of a close friend of Sue's and experienced the joy of the wedding. As the groom broke the glass to remind us that even in joy there is sadness I was momentarily overwhelmed realizing that Sue wasn't there to experience the happiness of being with her friend at this wonderful occasion. But THEN, everyone yelled mazel tov and the celebration continued. As the clock turned on 48 weeks yesterday I continue to ask those with whom I am close, when will I be able to experience the joy which I am sure that Sue would want me to experience. I wish I knew what she would be saying to me if she could tell me what her wishes were for me at this point in the grieving process. I continue to remember her positive attitude and as a close friend told me recently, the importanc...
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46 weeks/Sue's Birthday

Dear Friends and Family, Some revelations this week that I need to share and I want to also let you know about the special program in Sue's honor this week. Sue's birthday is this Tuesday and it is another first to experience.  I will be surrounded by family from today through her birthday which will be immensely supportive.  So many of you have continued to reach out and as I approach the completion of the year of mourning, your ongoing caring is unprecedented in my experience as a rabbi.  Everyone has people who support them, but the depth and quantity of the love and kindness I have received is a reminder that love changes everything.  Sue would be inspired by the ways in which you have taken care of me and it is a tribute to her that kindness does make a difference in a world that isn't always kind. As I have had to rabbinically guide a number of people recently as they are dealing with illness and death, I have finally accepted that although my faith in  and career...
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45 Weeks, Tu B'shevat, Wisdom, and Sue's Presence

Dear Friends, So much has happened in the past week. I appreciate your bearing with me in what is once again an emotional roller coaster. Folks tell me this journey is non linear and this week exemplified that BIG TIME. The week began with speaking at the funeral of a 47 year old former student and friend of our older children. As I tried to comfort the bereaved, it was a stark reminder of the fact that many of us suffer tragedies and I can't imagine what this family is going through. Sue was in certain ways like a mom to this student and she had deep feelings about his kindness and caring. She encouraged him and mentored him and it was a reminder of how important simple acts of caring can be. In conversations with a member of the family, they introduced me to the Buddhist idea that when we experience a tragic loss, it is like an arrow going through our hearts. We are in pain and often look to try to find reasons for our pain. That can lead to the second arrow which is th...
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The Journey Continues/44 weeks

Dear Friends, I wanted to give you an update. It is now 44 weeks and perhaps it was being secluded in the snow and not seeing people for a few days or perhaps it is because it was the first snow storm since Sue passed away, but it has been a challenging time. Sometime soon, an editor is going to be compiling these blogs and the commentary I am writing and we hope to publish my musings sometime during 2026. Recently, one of our children and I were talking about an idea in Jewish life that there are 36 righteous people in every generation. We don't know who they are since they work behind the scenes and are unassuming. As we were talking about this, I realized that I may have been married to one of them. Many of you reading these blogs have told me that you never realized all the things that Sue did during her lifetime. These people are called lamed vavniks since the Hebrew letter "lamed" is numerically 30 (each Hebrew letter has a numerical value...this is called ge...
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A New Path Forward

Dear Family and Friends, I think it is time. I will continue to blog on the blog site listed below but will be taking a break from sending these to individuals. It is time to begin to put these blogs for the past nine months into a book that I might be able to publish. Occasionally I will send them to you in this fashion if I am in need of support and guidance. I cannot express my gratitude to so many of you who have accompanied me on this journey. I hope you will stay in touch as you have done even though you are not personally receiving these blogs. Your friendship, caring, and love have been inspirational and have allowed me to continue to live and not merely survive. As a person who has made his career using words, I cannot find the words to thank you for your compassion. So...I will just say, "THANK YOU." Let me explain why I think it is time to take a break. I continue to hear Sue's voice telling me that I have said much of what I have written already ...
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