Dear Friends,
I continue to appreciate that you are accompanying me on my grief journey.
Your wisdom and continuing support are integral to my healing and thanks for being there to read these blogs and comment as you wish. I value your insights, hugs, jokes, and words of comfort.
I was speaking with someone who told me that in Psalm 23 it says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...."
It does not say one should get stuck in the valley of the shadow of death, but rather to walk through it and hopefully emerge into a world where we are able to acknowledge that "my cup runneth over, sure goodness and kindness will follow me all the days of my life."
As we mark 20 weeks since Sue passed away, I think about how there are times I feel stuck in the valley of the shadow of death and how goodness and kindness may be Divine attempts to move me through the valley. Surely, many of you are showing me that goodness and kindness.
I am reminded of the comment that was made by our daughter at the Celebration of Sue's life, where she talked about her mother's commitment to giving people the benefit of the doubt.
I have thought a lot about this over the past several months. We live in a world where many of us sit in judgment of others. There is a line in Sam Walter Foss' poem, "House by the Side of the Road" (one of my Dad's favorites which you should read in its entirety, See below) that says,
Let me live in my house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by-
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish - so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,
Or hurl the cynic's ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
I think about the wisdom of giving the benefit of the doubt and hope that as we all face challenges in our lives we will give others and ourselves the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps this will give us the impetus to move beyond our own personal valleys where we are surrounded by shadows and move into the light.
We are about to begin the Hebrew month of Elul which gives us a month to reflect on what is important in our lives as we prepare for the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah). As I begin my own preparation for the new year which will be unlike any other, I find these words by Joni Mitchell (see below) to remind me that after all these years, I didn't know love and life at all, until now all I have is memories. I became consumed with the clouds at times and hope that instead of looking at the clouds, we will look for the rays of light behind the clouds that can inspire and enrich our lives. (Many of you have reminded me about the rainbow that appeared in the sky as we left Sue's celebration of life) Please enjoy the love with which you are blessed now and as the second song by Bobby Vinton says (also see below), "seal it with a kiss" before it is too late. I wish I could ...
Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
House by the Side of the Road
There are hermit souls that live withdrawn
In the place of their self-content;
There are souls like stars, that dwell apart,
In a fellowless firmament;
There are pioneer souls that blaze the paths
Where highways never ran-
But let me live by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
Where the race of men go by-
The men who are good and the men who are bad,
As good and as bad as I.
I would not sit in the scorner's seat
Nor hurl the cynic's ban-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
I see from my house by the side of the road
By the side of the highway of life,
The men who press with the ardor of hope,
The men who are faint with the strife,
But I turn not away from their smiles and tears,
Both parts of an infinite plan-
Let me live in a house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
I know there are brook-gladdened meadows ahead,
And mountains of wearisome height;
That the road passes on through the long afternoon
And stretches away to the night.
And still I rejoice when the travelers rejoice
And weep with the strangers that moan,
Nor live in my house by the side of the road
Like a man who dwells alone.
Let me live in my house by the side of the road,
Where the race of men go by-
They are good, they are bad, they are weak, they are strong,
Wise, foolish - so am I.
Then why should I sit in the scorner's seat,
Or hurl the cynic's ban?
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
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