April Fools Day will Never Be The Same/ Who Knew/Passover Liberation

Dear Friends and Family, I have asked this question many times throughout the past year..."Who knew????" It was a normal (whatever that means) day on April 1, 2025. I was sitting on the loveseat, Sue was sitting at the dining room table, and who knew that this would be Sue's last full day of life as we knew it???? I was on the phone with our insurance agent and after I told her a joke, she said she had told clients that she has a client who told good jokes. I put her on speaker and asked her to repeat that for Sue. I said to Sue that even our insurance agent liked my jokes and Sue just nodded her head. Then the insurance agent called out "April Fools" and I realized that I had been set up for an April fools joke about her telling people that I told good jokes. Sue thought that was very funny (I may never recover:-)) and then I left to teach and Sue went to the dentist to see if her mouth pain was a dental issue. I came back later that night (who knew that the mouth pain was a sign that her aorta was torn???) and arrived later than I had thought. She sent me an eye rolling emoji when I kept delaying my arrival due to meeting with a student and trying to do wordle. (she had prepared a dinner I had requested and I was once again coming back later than I had promised...who knew????) When, because of a technological hiccup, Sue had already done wordle for that day, I told her my life was over since I couldn't do wordle? (a joke, right????) Who knew???) So I arrived home and as I recall Sue had already eaten since I was late, but I had dinner, we watched some TV and I fell asleep on the loveseat and Sue went upstairs to read. A normal night, right???? Who knew... The next morning Sue went to be with a friend and I went to play handball and then to get a wellness check with a new doctor. Who knew...the chest discomfort started, Sue called 911 and we met at the ER. We bantered, she found out she needed open heart surgery to repair an aorta tear, she went in for surgery and well who knew? Trying to tickle her feet, a comment that in the event anything happened (who knew???) that our son Aaron would get the baseball cards (a standing joke we shared that if anything happened to me, Aaron would get the cards), a little kiss accompanied by kissy kissy from the operating room staff, and then she went into surgery. Who knew that was the final goodbye unless she was at all cognizant in her medically induced coma after the surgery. Our last text exchange as many of you remember, and I think a lot about, was a conversation about how she was doing....her response was "staying alive, staying alive, ooh ooh ooh staying alive...once again who knew... So as I get ready to celebrate Passover I am trying to keep hope alive that the grieving will lessen and the joy will increase. If you are still reading this, I am hopeful that the liberating theme of Passover will lead me through the Red Sea of grief and into a place of joy. A colleague, Sandy Sasso, has written a book called "Miriam's Dancing Shoes" and its theme is that we can move forward through life's challenges if we celebrate the joyful moments. Sue loved Passover...the seders I led were never quite as meaningful as her father's but our last Seder together was inspirational as the President of George Mason University talked about the African American journey through the Middle Passage, an Afghan student spoke of her exodus to the US, a Turkish colleague talked about his journey, and we spoke about our Jewish journey. So this year in my heart, I am seeking to tell a story of joy and hope that the Exodus from grief to comfort and wonderful memories will continue. Telling stories about Sue will be an eternal joy and even in my intense and almost overwhelming sadness (many of you know you are on call the next couple of days to support me if I buckle...) I am trying to follow Miriam's dancing shoes and Sue's sparkling kindness. A close friend told me yesterday that she believes that throughout this process I have been projecting kindness. If she is correct (and sometimes it doesn't feel that way to me...) then Sue's legacy lives on. May our Passover and Easter celebrations, and the recent Ramadan observances, inspire all of us to be filled with hope and love and may we all project Sue's kindness. Please do me a favor...do something kind today (and maybe every day) and then maybe our world will once again sparkle. Thanks for listening to my rambling....it is a tough April Fools Day and that is no joke. Rabbi Bruce Aft