Rabbi Bruce's Reflections on Life

Dear Family, Friends, and Students,, Those of you familiar with the Hebrew language know that in Hrebrew letters, the number 18 is represented by the letters which form the Hebrew word Chai, or life. This week it has been double chai months since Sue passed away. Everywhere we went it has been Rabbi Bruce and Sue or Bruce and Sue or Sue and Bruce and as I continue to wrestle with my name change to just Bruce, I had another revelation this week. A friend told me that wherever I journey from here, it is not just as Bruce. Sue will always be right there with me and certainly resides permanently in my heart. So as I continue my journey I had an intense experience at a local retirement home where one of the staff people was able to help me through a pivotal moment in my healing. We were celebrating Chanukah and the activities person put on the song, "Light One Candle" (see below and for those who cannot click on the link, please put the link in your browser to hear Peter...

Dear Friends and Family, As I reflect upon a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with the bitter and the sweet as I wrote about last week, I am overwhelmed this week and have turned to the weekly Torah (Scriptural) reading for inspiration and comfort. I continue to be told that grief is not a linear process and that there will be steps forward and backward.  This blog will reflect my internal wrestling match. If Jewish tradition is relevant here and our lives in this world and the ways we remember our loved ones elevate their souls in the world to come, then I continue to hope and pray that perhaps Sue's soul is at peace and that life, whatever it is, is kinder to her than parts of the last months of her life.  Between the cancer surgery, her time at the dentist dealing with mouth pain, and then the fateful days eight months ago with the heart surgery, I can't help but think that even Susie sunshine as we would sometimes call her, had to be struggling a bit.  I am not the first pe...

Dear Friends, As I write this blog early on the morning before Thanksgiving and I hear a grandchild go into their parents' room and say good morning, I wanted to share a blog I wish I didn't have to write and yet as you  see I must. I have been filled with such strong emotions for almost eight months now and those of you who read these blogs, know that I have opened my soul The intensity of the emotion this morning is at an all time high as I am flooded with wonderful memories, sweet moments, snuggles, sparkles, and am surrounded by the love of family, friends, and so many of my students.  People are reading out from across the globe because they know that Thanksgiving was a sacred day in our home. As I peer through the tears I have turned to a song that was written after the 1973 Yom Kippur War in Israel by Naomi Shemer.  I have included a link to an English translation for the song and hope that you will put the name of the song into your browser and watch and listen to di...

Dear Friends, As I spend time with family in the Midwest before Thanksgiving and other family members and friends in VA during Thanksgiving week, I am thinking a lot about the first Thanksgiving since Sue passed away. As often happens I was driving and the following song came on the radio which reminded me of so much of what I have felt and want to express as Thanksgiving approaches.  (See below. Please put the titles into your browser to hear the songs) As the lyrics in the song say, They say that all good things must end someday Autumn leaves must fallBut don't you know that it hurts me so To say goodbye to you? Wish you didn't have to go No, no, no, noAnd when the rain beats against my window pane I'll think of summer days again And dream of you. When I visited Sue's parents' graves last week, I was reminded of what her father said when we would recite the motzi or prayer before eating bread.  He would say, "let's all say baruch (blessing)." ...

Dear Friends, I am writing this blog after having visited the Temple in Champaign, Illinois  where Sue and I were married.  I wanted to see where we met at the University of Illinois, and to reflect on the wonder of beginning a 50 year love affair.  We began the affair in Hebrew class where I got her convicted in a trial in Hebrew and her response to my teasing was to stick her tongue out at me.  I was smitten in that moment and Sue was smitten when I took a picture of an older couple on a walk through the Presidential gardens a couple days later.  We attended services for our first date where I lied to get her to attend by telling her my roommate was going with his girlfriend and I didn't want to be a third.  My roommate had no intent on going but did and so Sue came with me.  The rest is history.... I drove past the dorm where we lived, went to Hillel, the building where the Jewish students meet and attended a service there.  I went into the coffee house across from the Fine Art...

Dear Friends, As we begin the month of November where we celebrate Thanksgiving and give thanks for all our blessings, I want to write about a number of things that should bring joy to all of us as we continue to miss Sue so very much. This week, an old friend reached out and reminded me of something I have taught so many people over the years. Death may end a life but it never ends a relationship. And to all of you who knew Sue, I know that our relationships with Sue will always remain strong because love and kindness matter. The Psalmist tells us that love conquers death and so our relationships with her will always remind us of hope and optimism in the midst of despair and challenges. I continue to need you to remind me about this in the midst of my sadness. Secondly, a cousin of mine found pictures of Sue from when she spent a gap year in Israel working on a Kibbutz. She sent me two pictures of Sue from her time on the Kibbutz (my cousin knew her before I did). I was ab...