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19 Weeks and Choices We Make

Dear Friends,  The weekly Scripture/Torah  reading that we are reading today is from the book of Deuteronomy in the Portion Ekev. The following is a post from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks about this portion and expresses the power of gratitude.  You can access the entire article by searching for Jonathan Sacks on Eikev which will have the footnotes. In the early 1990s, one of the great medical research exercises of modern times took place. It became known as the Nun Study. Some seven hundred American nuns, all members of the School Sisters of Notre Dame in the United States, agreed to allow their records to be accessed by a research team investigating the process of ageing and Alzheimer’s Disease. At the start of the study the participants were aged between 75 and 102.[1]What gave this study its unusual longitudinal scope is that sixty years earlier the very same nuns had been asked by their Mother Superior to write a brief autobiographical account of their life and their reasons...

Week 18 Number Two/ Simple Things that are Precious Moments

Dear Friends, I decided to write one more blog this week as today was 18 weeks from the actual family funeral for Sue. I don't know how long I will continue to write these grieving logs because of something that happened last night. As I put into the subject, there are simple things that make for precious moments. Last night when I sat next to a granddaughter with whom Sue had a very special relationship as the oldest granddaughter I felt Sue's presence next to me, I finally understood the meaning of the following prayer with which many of you are familiar that was written by Rabbis Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer. ‘We Remember Them’ by Rabbis Sylvan Kamens & Jack Riemer At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them. At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them. At the...

18 weeks/ The Gray Zone

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 Dear Friends, 18 weeks ago today life changed forever for our family and for me.  The moments continue to be intense and the recollections are filled with love.  One of you told me that bank accounts close, but love accounts remain open forever. Who would have thought that mild chest pain would be a sign that an aorta was about to burst? As I continue to struggle with the grief and embrace the love and support I am receiving, I want to reiterate my gratitude to so many of you who continue to accompany me on this journey.  I hope you will continue to bear with the ups and downs and that I am not becoming a burden. You can always delete these messages:-) In preparation for the Jewish New Year next month, I was reading the following from a prayer entitled "We are Clay." We are the rudder You are the helmsman Who steers us to the left or to the right Direct us to the shore you choose Do not let us idly spin Even if we consistently resist your grasp. Remem...

17 Weeks/Photographs and Memories

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 Dear Friends, As the calendar turns to August and I continue to travel to see family and friends, folks keep being so supportive and for this I continue to be grateful.  I am so blessed that you have not forgotten about me and continue to support me. In commemorating Tisha B'Av tonight, a day set aside on the Jewish calendar to remember the destruction of the Temples in Jerusalem and other tragedies in Jewish life, I wanted to share what I hope is an uplifting thought. At a Jewish wedding the groom (and occasionally the bride and groom) break a glass at the conclusion of the ceremony.  This reminds them and us that there are moments of sadness in our lives, dreams that shatter, and that the Jewish people and all of us have endured challenges in our lives..  Immediately after the glass is broken, those in attendance shout mazel tov to remind us that there is hope and joy even in the midst of sorrow. Last night I hosted a Shabbat dinner for almost 20 pe...

16 Weeks...Loneliness, Love, and Kindness

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  Dear Friends, Terribly lonely....but never alone... How could I be alone when after last week's blog, I received over 100 hugs from people who are reading these glimpses into my heart and soul.  And believe me, each and everyone of them is so appreciated and so needed right now. The student who responded with the emojis with smiling faces hugging, the friend who told me that Sue was my best "catch" after reading about the game of catch at the Field of Dreams, the student who wrote a beautiful reflection who I hope reads this and contacts me again, the friend who wrote a poem,  and so many good wishes.  I am grateful to each and everyone of you. Today we finished reading the Biblical Book of Numbers during our Shabbat worship services.  Each week we read from a portion of the Torah (Five Books of Moses) and when we complete a book, we say in Hebrew, "Chazak, Chazak, v'nitchazek." which translates as "may we be strong, may we be strong and may we streng...

15 weeks, Field of Dreams, Kaddish/ Memorial Prayer

 Dear Friends, I need a hug today....Please bear with me as I write this blog which will be a window to my soul. It was 27 years ago that my father died and a participant at the International Teen Kallah (Learning Institute) asked me if my father and I ever kissed each other.  I only remembered a few times he would kiss me on the "kepe" (Yiddish for forehead).  I told this to the teenager who was disappointed that my Dad and I  hadn't shared our affection with a kiss. As he walked away, I called him back and told him that my Dad and I liked to play catch and that each time the ball hit the glove, we were kissing.  He walked away smiling, feeling that my Dad and I had shared special moments in a meaningful way. What does that have to do with the Field of Dreams and Kaddish? I have struggled over the last 15 weeks to find a meaningful way to remember Sue in a Jewish ritual way.  I have dutifully said Kaddish and you all know that I am thinking about...

Blessings and Curses/Week 14

  Dear Friends, Today we read the Biblical portion Balak which deals with the Prophet Balaam being asked to curse the Jewish people. In the end, Balaam blesses the Jewish people. I want to discuss the fine line between blessings and curses and how or whether it is possible to ascertain whether something is a blessing or a curse. In the Biblical portion we are reading, there is a discussion about the Jewish people being a people who dwells alone.  In the midst of the antisemitism in today's world, the discussion is very relevant. Are the Jewish people supported or alone in the midst of the challenges we are facing in the Middle East and around the world?  How do we know whether people will support the Jewish people or whether the Jewish people will ultimately be on our own to face adversity?  There is this fine line where one wonders whether there will be support or whether there will be ongoing aloneness.  I do not have a crystal ball but hope that there wi...