Week 18 Number Two/ Simple Things that are Precious Moments

Dear Friends, I decided to write one more blog this week as today was 18 weeks from the actual family funeral for Sue. I don't know how long I will continue to write these grieving logs because of something that happened last night. As I put into the subject, there are simple things that make for precious moments. Last night when I sat next to a granddaughter with whom Sue had a very special relationship as the oldest granddaughter I felt Sue's presence next to me, I finally understood the meaning of the following prayer with which many of you are familiar that was written by Rabbis Sylvan Kamens and Rabbi Jack Riemer. ‘We Remember Them’ by Rabbis Sylvan Kamens & Jack Riemer At the rising sun and at its going down; We remember them. At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter; We remember them. At the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring; We remember them. At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of summer; We remember them. At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of the autumn; We remember them. At the beginning of the year and when it ends; We remember them. As long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as We remember them. When we are weary and in need of strength; We remember them. When we are lost and sick at heart; We remember them. When we have decisions that are difficult to make; We remember them. When we have joy we crave to share; We remember them. When we have achievements that are based on theirs; We remember them. For as long as we live, they too will live, for they are now a part of us as, We remember them. I realized that as long as our grandchildren live, Sue's memory will be a blessing. The bond that I know Sue felt for all our grandchildren was q beauty to behold and often made me envious to the point I wished I could have that kind of relationship with them. I hope and pray that in the days ahead I will be able to cultivate that kind of relationship and know that it is up to me to share her joy. Last night I experienced the joy and love that our granddaughter felt for her without having to share a word. It truly was a sacred moment, sitting next to her and having a life changing realization that Sue is present whenever there is love and I need to open my heart to feel it.. My summer has been filled with these sacred moments with all our children and grandchildren, with students and former students, with neighbors and friends, and new friends that have held my heart and soul in the palms of their hands and nurtured me in my most vulnerable moments. It took until last night for me to see what Sue clearly had created if I only opened my eyes and my heart. When I read this week's Scriptural reading and thought about the words which are part of the Shema, one of our most sacred prayers, I thought about the following line from the book of Deuteronomy. You shall teach your children diligently, speaking meaningful words when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. The words which Sue taught in her actions were words of joy and kindness and this week I began to hear her voice telling me that although there is a time to mourn, there is a time for joy. I could feel her telling me the time has come for me to remember the joy and to lessen the mourning. And because this is how she lived her life and because I need to carry on her memory, I need to find joy and share her light with the world, not dwell on the unexpected and shocking interruption of our life together. So...I was driving today to share a special moment with a former student on my final trip of the summer that covered 7.000 miles of driving and flying into seven cities to see family and friends who all have given me the gift of their time and their support.. The support that so many of you continue to give me and the love of my family is part of the sacred tapestry that has blessed me through this journey. She was a craftsperson and her greatest creation was a loving family about whom she would be so proud. She gave us all the gift of realizing that when one expresses and gives kindness, one receives love and kindness in return. I am the lucky and fortunate recipient of that love and kindness for the past four months and hopefully into the future. In this second blog marking the chai (18th) week since she died, I will share a song I heard while I was driving today. I found the following version with the visuals. (Please enter the link below into your browser. I can't figure out how to make the link open here in this blog). When in the Bible, G-d said, let there be light, may the light she shared with me and so many of you, continue to brighten even the darkest hours. I don't know what the future will bring and I will continue to write, although the darkness is beginning to lighten and a number of you are providing various ways to help me to see that light. May these words brighten your life and give you a window into why the grief has been so intense and why after seven weeks, I proposed marriage almost 51 years ago. I was the more romantic partner and if I played this for Sue, she would roll her eyes, but if I had the chance to tell her, I would let her know, I would hold her hands, hug her, and tell her how much she meant to me. I hope she knows... Please don't miss a chance to tell your loved ones how you feel. (even if they might roll their eyes;) they might actually need or want to hear it from you. Don't hesitate and say it and show it before it is too late...:-( You all are so very kind to be with me on my journey. With gratitude and affection to all of you, Rabbi Bruce Aft youtube + barbra streisand the first time ever i saw your face