19 Weeks and Choices We Make

Dear Friends,

 The weekly Scripture/Torah  reading that we are reading today is from the book of Deuteronomy in the Portion Ekev. The following is a post from Rabbi Jonathan Sacks about this portion and expresses the power of gratitude.  You can access the entire article by searching for Jonathan Sacks on Eikev which will have the footnotes. In the early 1990s, one of the great medical research exercises of modern times took place. It became known as the Nun Study. Some seven hundred American nuns, all members of the School Sisters of Notre Dame in the United States, agreed to allow their records to be accessed by a research team investigating the process of ageing and Alzheimer’s Disease. At the start of the study the participants were aged between 75 and 102.[1]What gave this study its unusual longitudinal scope is that sixty years earlier the very same nuns had been asked by their Mother Superior to write a brief autobiographical account of their life and their reasons for entering the convent. These documents were now analysed by the researchers using a specially devised coding system to register, among other things, positive and negative emotions. By annually assessing the nuns’ current state of health, the researchers were able to test whether their emotional state in 1930 had affected their health some sixty years later. Because they had all lived a very similar lifestyle during these six decades, they formed an ideal group for testing hypotheses about the relationship between emotional attitudes and health.The results, published in 2001, were startling.[2] The more positive emotions – such as contentment, gratitude, happiness, love and hope – the nuns expressed in their autobiographical notes, the more likely they were to be alive and well sixty years later. The difference was as much as seven years in life expectancy. So remarkable was this finding that it has led, since then, to a new field of gratitude research, as well as a deepening understanding of the impact of emotions on physical health. 

What medicine now knows about individuals, Moses knew hundreds of years ago about nations. Gratitude – hakarat ha-tov – is at the heart of what he has to say about the Israelites and their future in the Promised Land. Gratitude had not been their strong point in the desert. They complained about lack of food and water, about the manna and the lack of meat and vegetables, about the dangers they faced from the Egyptians as they were leaving and about the inhabitants of the land they were about to enter. They lacked thankfulness during the difficult times. A greater danger still, said Moses, would be a lack of gratitude during the good times. This is what he warned: "When you have eaten and been satisfied, and have built fine houses and lived in them, when your herds and flocks have grown abundant, and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have has multiplied, your heart may become proud, forgetting the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery… You might be tempted to say to yourself, ‘My power, the strength of my own hand, have brought me this great wealth.’ But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the power to do great things, upholding the covenant that He swore to your ancestors..."Deut. 8:12-18 

The worst thing that could happen to them, warned Moses, would be that they forgot how they came to the land, how God had promised it to their ancestors, and had taken them from slavery to freedom, sustaining them during the forty years in the wilderness. This was a revolutionary idea: that the nation’s history be engraved on people’s souls, that it was to be re-enacted in the annual cycle of festivals, and that the nation, as a nation, should never attribute its achievements to itself – “my power and the might of my own hand” – but should always ascribe its victories, indeed its very existence, to something higher than itself: to God. This is a dominant theme of Deuteronomy, and it echoes throughout the book time and again.Since the publication of the Nun Study and the flurry of further research it inspired, we now know of the multiple effects of developing an attitude of gratitude. It improves physical health and immunity against disease. Grateful people are more likely to take regular exercise and go for regular medical check-ups. 

Thankfulness reduces toxic emotions such as resentment, frustration and regret and makes depression less likely. It helps people avoid over-reacting to negative experiences by seeking revenge. It even tends to make people sleep better. It enhances self-respect, making it less likely that you will envy others for their achievements or success. Grateful people tend to have better relationships. Saying “thank you” enhances friendships and elicits better performance from employees. It is also a major factor in strengthening resilience. 

As I think about the meaning of the Biblical portion and Rabbi Sacks' words, it is a reminder that even in the midst of grief, we need to be thankful for the blessings in our lives.  You who are reading this know how much your support has meant to me over the past 19 weeks. You all are truly a source of gratitude and blessing to me.As I think of the blessings for which I am grateful, I have begun to reflect more on the miracle of over 50 years of joy which Sue and I shared since we became engaged.  I am thankful for the humor and the happiness that filled our lives and even in the final moments, we were being lighthearted since joy permeated most of our life together. Although her life was cut way too short especially since given her joy, she could have lived forever and will live forever in my heart and in the hearts of those who knew her.  I am thankful for the numerous gifts we gave each other and how we helped each other be kinder, believe in ourselves, ask questions without being judgmental, and strongly encourage each other to believe that each of us was making a difference. And to those of you reading this and you know who you are, I am grateful for the insights you have given me that have reminded me that humor and gratitude are among the reasons our lives together were such a treasure filled with sparkles and happiness. 

(Thank you:-))

I have shared this before but wanted to conclude this post with her words that she shared with a friend who was going through a challenging time. These words remind me of the power of being present in someone's life and what a present that can be to each of us to receive and to give. If we can give this gift to those we love, then I will be truly grateful for the love with which we were blessed and that I hope we will share with each other. (See below. She signed this with her middle name Lee since there were a number of people named Sue where Sue and her friend met and so her friend called her by her middle name) 

Shabbat Shalom, Sabbath Peace,

Rabbi Bruce Aft

"Remember it's okay to have good days, bad days, and just getting by days but you can get through anything!  I'm here for you all the way.  Take each day as it comes and know that I believe in you.

With all my love,

Lee