The First Year Since 1973

Dear Friends, In the Broadway Musical South Pacific, there is a song, "some enchanted evening you will meet a stranger...you will meet a stranger across a cr;owded room... Well, Sue and I met at Hillel in 1973 but the romance of the song didn't happen. We were at a coffee house as I recall and her friend was playing the guitar and was playing "Classical Gas." We were cordial and knew who each other were...but that was it. UNTIL... As you may remember from previous blogs, I got her convicted in a trial in Hebrew in the fall of 1974 in a Hebrew class. I teased her...what else is new...:-) and she stuck her tongue out at me. The rest is history as we developed a friendship that lasted into six decades. I will always be grateful to my mother for encouraging me to take one more semester of Hebrew because as she put it, "you might meet some nice Jewish girl." Well, I did meet a Jewish girl:-) ( I would tease Sue about this occasionally.... Last night marked the 51st anniversary of us celebrating our engagement. I recall that my father said we could celebrate our engagement by by seeing a double feature at a movie theater called the Mercury in Elmwood Park, Illinois (you can fact check me....I think I have this right). The first movie was the original "Murder on the Orient Express" and we both fell asleep. We didn't stay for the second movie but we did have a cheap celebration. Btw, we tried to watch the movie again a couple times and fell asleep. We finally stayed awake when we saw the newer version and actually found the movie to be worth watching. We never did see the entire original though... I have spoken to a number of you who reached out with hugs and caring words and have indicated that this is the first year since 1973 that Sue won't be a physical part of my life You have asked me what I plan to do as I look ahead and that prospect is daunting, scary, and filled with emotion. So here is what will guide me as I continue the journey into uncharted territory... First, Sue used to say as she did to one of our children and his partner when he graduated from graduate school She said to not worry about most of what happens because it will pass. My mother used to say that 90% of what we worry about doesn't happen. And the one thing that we never worried about ended up happening. I don't know quite what I will do with ths information and continue to be puzzled and confused as you all know. Second, I will think a lot about a prayer that was the most meaningful prayer to Sue. It is at the bottom of this blog. I will try to figure out how to fill the pauses between the notes with meaning and carry on the love and joy which Sue brought to our world. Third, one of you encouraged me to live with the memories of the past but not live in the past. Easier said than done, but worthy of trying to use the encouragement of the memories of the past to build a brighter future. Fourth, I need to share a pleaant memory of our 36th anniversary which was double chai, or two times 18 which stands for life. I gave Sue 36 purple roses in a heart and told her that she deserved a purple heart for being married to me for 36 years. She kept a picture of these roses and the note in her special cabinet and lives forever in my heart. Finally, I used to think that when I would be dying and Sue would be there that the following scene from the broadway musical, Man of LaMancha would play out. It didn't happen that way but the scene certainly still have meaning for me as I plan for the future. YouTube · Brian Stokes Mitchell - Topic 163.7K+ views · 11 years ago 8:23 Provided to YouTube by Masterworks Broadway Finale Sequence: The Death of Alonso Quijana - Dulcinea (Reprise) / The Impossible Dream (The ... As you either click on the link or put this in your browser, who knew that Sue would pass away first? But regardless, the words ring true and would be her message as I negotiate the waters of life without her in the midst of the waves of grief that continue to overwhelm me. She would want me to pursue the Impossible Dream and would tell me that she is by my side in my heart and soul. (Please listen to it and maybe it will inspire you in some meaningful way) So...what will I be doing? Chasing windmills and dreaming the impossible dream...and maybe just maybe, our dream of a better world will not be a dream and will turn into reality. I owe that to her and hope and pray that I am up to the task. It was our quest for over 50 years and I can't stop now... May 2026 be a year of healing and hope and may we continue to pursue our dreams. Sue would like that... Rabbi Bruce Aft The pauses between the notes A great pianist was once asked by an ardent admirer: "how do you handle the notes as well as you do?" The artist answered: "The notes I handle no better than many pianists, but the pauses between thenotes-ah! that is where the art resides." In great living as in great music, the art may be in the pauses. Surely one of the enduring contributions which Judaism made to the art of living was the Shabbat, "the pause between the notes." And it is to the Shabbat that we must look if we are to restore to our lives the sense of serenity and sanctity which Shabbat offers in such joyous abundance. (p.99, Likrat Shabbat Siddur(Prayer Book)