24 weeks...the first Rosh Hashanah

 Dear Friends,


I hope you will forgive me but I needed to interrupt Bruce's blogs to share my message with him and you.  

I loved Bruce more than anything and treasure all the time we were blessed with together.  But, I need to be honest here and Bruce, I hope you are listening.  

I know you say you are existential and not a worrier.  Well, what if we compromise and we agree you are both.  And I know you remember on rare occasions, I would say to you that you said that already and actually would be annoyed with you.

Well, I am going to say it now...You have said you are sad enough now.  We know this and I am also sad.  There is a difference, Bruce, between you and me.  I am not dwelling on the sadness...I am celebrating the joy.

To those of you who are reading this, I hope you will forgive me for including some lyrics.  I guess being married to Bruce, quoting lyrics is contagious.  By the way, sometimes the fact that I really was a cockeyed optimist drove Bruce crazy, but it is time for you to hear this again, Bruce.


I miss you so very much and I know that you miss me.

But, Bruce, please open your heart to the kindness being shown to you and PLEASE don't be as angry as you were last week when you wrote what you did.  Please listen to Mimi and have the FAITH which you inspired others to have by realizing that I lived a full life and I DID NOT SUFFER.  You know I didn't want you to have to take care of me and you know that I want people to remember me full of life and joy, not sickly and sad.

So, you have to promise me that you will look at the rock you were given last night that says strong and be strong in the following ways.

Please remember the following:  You may have to explain some of the back story if anyone asks you but I think they will get my point.

A grandson that says, "Hey Grandpa, I love you and knows how to keep an old man busy"
A granddaughter who sends you hearts and emojis and you know loves you SO VERY MUCH
A grandson that says Hiiiiiiiiii and luv you more
A grandson who carries on my love of crafts sewing, crocheting, and crafts which you probably don't even know what they are called:-)  (Halo...I used to make a halo over my head when I was trying to make a loving criticism and tried to appear angelic:-))
A grandson whose love for the Cubs has to have softened your attitude toward them OR NOT!!  But he goes to games with you with such joy and passion.
A granddaughter who rides that scooter, plays at the playground, and flashes you the peace sign in so many pictures...maybe she wants you to find peace...you may not listen to me, but please listen to her.
A grandson who loves dinosaurs, smiles at you so much and you know loves to poop you, Poppy (that's what some of the grandkids call Bruce)
A grandson who can't wait for you to poop him and when you facetime with him, smiles just at the thought of seeing you.
A granddaughter who I held and babysat for and is well, and please forgive me to the other grandchildren, but just the cutest person I have ever seen.  I treasure the memories of holding her in my lap recently before I passed away.

Bruce, are you still reading this?
How about the love our seven children are showing you?  Calls, facetime, pictures, videos, more pictures, more videos, and wanting more than anything for you to smile again. 

How about all the anecdotes you tell about students, their parents, and all who are helping you.  Maybe the Divine is filling your life with love and you need to say thank you instead of being angry.

Okay, I guess I have gone on long enough.  I used to search for Bruce's off button because as you all know, he can go on and on and on and on.... 

So, my beloved friend, as you celebrate the new year, I hope you  will promise me that you will spread love and hope.  You know that I would be doing this if the roles were reversed.  We brought so much love and hope to so many and I know in my heart that you will find the strength to continue to do so.

So, please share this reading with the folks in South Carolina during the Holidays and please listen to its words, okay? 

"When All That's Left Is Love" by Rabbi Allen S. Maller

When I die
If you need to weep  
Cry for someone  
Walking the street beside you.  
You can love me most by letting
Hands touch hands, and 
Souls touch souls.  
You can love me most by  
Sharing your Simchas (goodness) and  
Multiplying your Mitzvot (acts of kindness).  
You can love me most by  
Letting me live in your eyes  
And not on your mind.  
And when you say 
Kaddish (prayers) for me  
Remember what our  
Torah teaches,  
Love doesn’t die 
People do.  

So when all that’s left of me is love  
Give me away.

And finally, I know you told this joke in your remembrance of me...it was my favorite...What time is it when you go to the dentist?  Tooth hurty (2:30)

Bruce, it is time to move beyond the hurt and celebrate the joy and love.

Shanah tovah everyone!  Please keep an eye on Bruce.  He needs you and will continue to lean on you but hopefully you will remind him that I believe in him and that he will find and spread joy and love again.

Love,
Sue

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