28 weeks/This is My Beloved

 Dear Friends,


First of all, we pause to give thanks for the release of the living hostages yesterday and grieve for all those who  have died in the Middle East the past two years.  Although we are joyful, we are also cognizant of the pain of so many and so greet the ongoing news from the Middle East with many mixed emotions.  I recently facilitated a class at George Mason University where we all shared how we respond to grief.  At a Jewish wedding we are joyful and break a glass as even at the most joyful of events we are aware of suffering.  One phenomenon that all of us experience, no matter what our political views are, is that we all grieve for our losses.  May the days ahead be filled with more joy than sadness and may we all hold each other through the hard times and share the happy ones.  

Last night I lit a yahrzeit (memorial) candle by myself for the first time since Sue passed away.

Fortunately, one of our children belongs to a synagogue where they celebrated Simchat Torah at the Festival where the Jewish people  complete the reading of the Torah and begin again.  They sent me the link for the streaming of their service so I was in a situation that while I was lighting the memorial candle in memory of Sue, our children and grandchildren were reading about the creation of the world which is how the Torah begins.  

I was thinking about the Elie Wiesel quote that Adam was created to teach us that we can begin again.  My sadness and tears were balanced by the joy of seeing two grandchildren and their mother read from the Torah.  But when I saw our son, holding their youngest, read from the Torah, I was overwhelmed by the joy which I so deeply wish I could be sharing with Savta (Grandma) Sue.

In that moment with the memorial candles burning in our home and Sue's memory warming my  heart and my eyes burning with tears, I thought a lot about something that I have been teaching for years.  The Torah concludes with the Hebrew letter "lamed" and begins with the Hebrew letter, "bet."  If one puts these two letters together, they spell the Hebrew word "lev" which is heart.  I continue to feel Sue in my heart and know that many of  you feel her spirit and her joy in your hearts as well.  I am grateful for your ongoing stories and recollections and hope you will continue to share them with me.

I realize that through this entire grieving process, it will require a lot of heart   Sue clearly touched my heart and so many of  you continue to touch my heart.  Recently, one of the recipients of these blogs, lost his battle with cancer.   He and his wife have served as an ongoing inspiration to me throughout my grief process and I want you to know (and you know this already) how much our texts several times a week have helped me cope and I will always treasure our friendship.  He wanted us to be close because he knew his wife  would be mourning for him as I am mourning for Sue.  Please know that you are in my heart.   

One of the ways in which I have dealt with my grieving throughout this process is to travel to see friends and family.   I returned from a couple of visits to see family and friends  last night and for the first time since Sue passed away listened to the mix which Sue and I would listen to when we drove.  Many of these songs were among our favorites and the one that caused me to be both as joyful and emotional as I have been, is the following(See below).  Although I was the more romantic partner, I hope and pray that Sue knew and knows that she was, is, and always will be my  beloved.  As I listened to this song, for the first time, I could taste my tears.  These tears were and are tears of sadness and joy  as they touch my soul and the water nourishes my love for her.  She would think this was a bit hokie but I believe the words describe our feelings for each other.  

Ann Blyth : And This Is My Beloved


​YouTube · amstepheninlondon
12K+ views · 3 years ago
Ann Blyth's 1955 song "And This Is My Beloved" - from the soundtrack of the film "Kismet" (with Howard Keel & Vic Damone)

Dawn's promising skies
Petals on a pool drifting
Imagine these in one pair of eyes
And this is my beloved

Strange spice from the south
Honey through the comb sifting
Imagine these in one eager mouth
And this is my beloved

And when s/he speaks and when s/he talks to me
Music! Mystery!
And when s/he moves And when s/he walks with me
Paradise comes suddenly near

All that can stir All that can stun
All that's for the heart's lifting
Imagine these in one perfect one

And this is my beloved
And this is my beloved

As we begin again with the creation of the world, may we all find ways to create the love that can make our world a better place and enrich our lives with precious moments and memories.

Chag Simchat Torah Sameach, may we rejoice in the celebration of the Torah and have the strength to begin again with hope, love, and kindness,

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