Dear Friends,
The journey continues....I continue to be surrounded by so many people that are loving and caring. A former student checked in yesterday and when I told them how hard a day it was, actually asked their Mom and a friend to spend Shabbat dinner with me last night so I would not be alone. I mean, who does that for a Professor.????
I continue to think about the role that G-d is playing in this entire experience and continue to wonder if the Shechinah (G-d's Feminine Presence in this world that is merciful and loving, You can look this up to get more information) is embracing me through the love of so many of you.
I continue to gather information and realized this week after speaking to a couple of doctors that the story, "Travels with Elijah" where Elijah teaches a colleague that sometimes things happen and we don't realize they are happening for the best, may be descriptive of Sue's sudden death. See the link below for the book in which this story is found. Medical records show she never suffered and that we were blessed to have as long as we did together based upon the medical condition she had.
And so I am left with a theological struggle and have turned to Rabbi Harold Kushner's concluding pages in his book "When Bad Things Happen to Good People." Please order the book and read at least the last two pages although I recommend the entire book. (See below)
So, can I forgive a world which has disappointed me and realize that same world has given me the love and kindness we cherished for over 50 years of being engaged and almost 49 years of marriage? Can I forgive G-d for what occurred when I think about how G-d may have sent each of you who has supported me and hopefully will continue to support me as the ways to deal with Sue's passing?
And can I forgive myself for not being perfect and realizing that being human means having limitations?
Lots of questions....no answers...only the recognition that how we respond to these occurrences is what really matters.
I hope and pray that as we proceed through the month of Elul, I will live the words of Psalm 27 which we recite at this time of year. "This is what I ask...to help me walk in the ways of the Divine." Thank you all for reminding me of the Divine presence in the midst of these past five months.
And if Sue is reading this, she would say,
Bruce,
The Divine Presence in our lives lasted over 50 years and may have been what brought us together. We sparkled for all that time and PLEASE remember that. What could be more Divine than us having all the blessings we shared. Remember our walks together around the lake when we said, "Ashreinu, mah tov, chelkeinu, we rejoice how goodly is our lot."
I love you my beloved and friend and I hope no one is listening, but YOU DO WORRY TOO MUCH. But I continue to admire you for being you and I hope you will find the peace you seek. It will help me to realize you are okay and that with all the love you describe that you will go forward with all our wonderful memories , carry on everything about which we dreamt together, and share my/our love and joy with the kids and grandkids.
PLEASE....
Love,
Sue
Shabbat shalom, sabbath peace,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
Is there an answer to the question of why bad things happen to good people? That depends on what we mean by "answer." If we mean "is there an explanation which will
make sense of it all?" —why is there cancer in the world? Why
did my father get cancer? Why did the plane crash? Why did
my child die? —then there is probably no satisfying answer.
We can offer learned explanations, but in the end, when we
have covered all the squares on the game board and are feeling
very proud of our cleverness, the pain and the anguish and the sense of unfairness will still be there.
But the word "answer" can mean "response" as well as "explanation," and in that sense, there may well be a satisfy-
ing answer to the tragedies in our lives. The response would
be Job's response in MacLeish's version of the biblical story—
to forgive the world for not being perfect, to forgive God for
not making a better world, to reach out to the people around
us, and to go on living despite ti al.
In the final analysis, the question of why bad things happen
to good people translates itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it
has happened.
Are you capable of forgiving and accepting in love a world which has disappointed you by not being perfect, a world ni which there is so much unfairness and cruelty, disease and crime, earthquake and accident? Can you forgive its imperfections and love it because it is capable of containing
great beauty and goodness, and because it is the
only
world
we have?
Aer you capable of forgiving and loving the people around
you, even if they have hurt you and let you down by not being perfect? Can you forgive them and love them, because there aren't any perfect people around, and because the penalty for
not being able to love imperfect people is condemning oneself
to loneliness?
Are you capable of forgiving and loving God even when you have found out that He is not perfect, even when He has let you down and disappointed you by permitting bad luck and sickness and cruelty in His world, and permitting some of those things to happen to you? Can you learn to love and forgive Him despite His limitations, as Job does, and as you once learned to forgive and love your parents even though they were not as wise, as strong, or as perfect as you needed them to be?
And if you can do these things, will you be able to recognize that the ability to forgive and the ability to love are the weapons God has given us to enable us to live fully, bravely, and meaningfully in this less-than-perfect world?
I think of Aaron and all that his life taught me, and I realize how much I have lost and how much I have gained. Yesterday seems less painful, and I am not afraid of tomorrow.
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