11 weeks later....Personal Reflections

 Dear Friends,


I wanted to share some reflections 11 weeks after Sue's passing.  Please let me know if you cannot open the links below.

As I think about everything that has happened, I am overwhelmed by grief and by the kindness that has been shown to me.

I was listening to Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah which you can click on below.  The broken and cold and lonely Hallelujah are a reminder of all the heartbreak I am experiencing and the joy that Sue and I shared over the years and her ongoing legacy of kindness.  (see below)

On this Shabbat when we read the Portion Shelach Lecha (Numbers 13-15), we read about the scouts who check out the Promised Land.  They come back with differing reports about whether the Israelities will be able to successfully enter the Promised Land.  I am continuing to learn about the various ways to experience the grieving process and move between moments of intense grief and moments of sacred joy.  We all know the analogy of looking at a glass 1/2 full or 1/2 empty. Sue looked at the glass as almost completely full and so she would want us to be filled with joy and happiness as we remember her vital and meaningful life.  She definitely would have joined Joshua and Caleb in believing that journeying to the Promised Land would be fulfilling and worthwhile and would not have succumbed to fear.  She would have inspired hope and gratitude for the opportunity to pursue a dream and realize a goal.  

When I taught a student recently about the phrase that one should live to be 120 years old, she responded that Sue impacted upon so many people that it is as if she lived to 120 years old.  I will always be indebted to this student who knows who they are, for this wonderful and special tribute.

There continue to be so many conflicting feelings at a time like this.  Each day I think about the loss of Sue and each day I think about the joy and kindness she brought to so many of us.

Depending upon the moment, sometimes grief wins out and sometimes joy wins out.  

The one thing that continues to win out is the kindness that has been shown to me by so many people.  When I listened to the song below by Bill Withers, I truly have leaned on so many of you and will continue to do so.  Kindness has certainly been my guide on my path to trying to cope with Sue's physical departure from this world.

I want to thank all of you for reading this and sharing my journey.  Please know that your calls, emails, texts, and caring are a reminder to me that it truly is a wonderful world.  As it says in Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (you can look it up below), despite sham and drudgery, it is still a beautiful world and we should strive to be happy.

I can think of no better testimony to Sue's life than to be happy, joyful, and kind.  Please remind me of this when I stumble and continue to share memories that will brighten my day and inspire hope.  You can always email me at rabbibruce@gmail.com or text or call me at 703-407-7690.

Thanks for listening and please see below.  If you scroll far enough down, you will see a link to a presentation I gave at Greenspring Village this week about how one deals with personal grief.  The response was overwhelmingly positive.  And...if you don't find it meaningful, perhaps it can be a cure for insomnia:-)
.
With gratitude and hope for kindness and peace,
Rabbi Bruce Aft


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