I Miss You, Mom

 

Dear Friends,

As I write this Mother's Day article, I am thinking about my own mother of blessed memory.

The Shema, our prayer which reminds us of the oneness of the Divine, teaches us to teach our children diligently.  The actual words suggest "Listen, Israel, the Lord our G-d, the Lord, Alone.

One of the most important lessons I learned from my mom was to listen. There is a line in a Desiderata which I have printed below, that suggests we should listen to the dull and ignorant, for they too have their stories.

One of the most important aspects of my  rabbinate has been that I hope I have been able to listen well to those with whom I  have had contact.  In a world where people don't often listen to each other and where there is significant polarization, I hope that we will listen to each other and not just think about what we will say in response.

My mother also read the following to us at our wedding.  (See below, the poem by S.H. Payer).  I often second guess myself and worry that perhaps I have not done what I set out to do or that perhaps I have missed a cue or not been as responsive as I might have been.  She read this to us to remind me/us that "the moment of absolute certainty never arrives."

I hope that everyone reading this will enjoy  a Happy Mother's Day and will find the following commentary by Rashi, (a medieval Jewish commentator) on a Biblical text in the Book of Leviticus (19:2-3) to be meaningful as we read about the distinction between revering (or fearing) our mother and father and honoring our father and mother.

EVERYBODY OF YOU SHALL FEAR HIS MOTHER AND HIS FATHER — Here Scripture mentions the mother before the father because it is manifest to Him that the child fears the father more than the mother and therefore by mentioning the mother first Scripture stresses the duty of fearing her. In the case of honoring one's parents, however, Scripture mentions the father before the mother because it is manifest to Him that the child honors the mother more than the father because she endeavors to win him over by kindly words…

If your mother is alive, I hope you will be in touch with her and let her know how special she is..If you and your mother didn't get along and there were/are issues, I hope that perhaps you can forgive and reconcile in some way.  And..if your mother has departed, may wonderful memories inspire kind words and acts of kindness and please tell stories about  your Mom to someone with whom you are close.

Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Bruce Aft

Live Each Day to the Fullest

Live each day to the fullest.

Get the most from each hour, each day.

and each age of your life.

Then you can look forward with confidence,

and back without regrets.

Be yourself ~ but be your best self.

Dare to be different and to follow your own star.

And don't be afraid to be happy ~ enjoy what is beautiful.

Love with all your heart and soul.

Believe that those you love, love you.

When you are faced with a decision.

make that decision as wisely as possible ~ then forget it.

The moment of absolute certainty never arrives.

And above all. remember that God helps

those who help themselves.

Act as if everything depended upon you.

and pray as if everything depended upon God.

Written by: S.H.PAYER

Desiderata: Original Text

This is the original text from the book where Desiderata was first published.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann ©1927