Revelations About Life
Dear Friends and Family,
As we just returned from attending weekly services during the week in which we read about the giving of the 10 Commandments I thought I would write about what revelation means to me. Our ancestors experienced their revelation in the midst of thunder and lightning. Yehuda Amichai, a famous Israeli poet in his poem, "My Parents Lodging Place" wrote about a gentler revelation.
My father was God and didn't know it. He gave me
the Ten Commandments not in thunder and not in anger,
not in fire and not in a cloud, but gently
and with love. He added caresses and tender words,
"would you" and "please." And chanted "remember" and "keep"
with the same tune, and pleaded and wept quietly
between one commandment and the next: Thou shalt not
take the name of thy Lord in vain, shalt not take, not in vain,
please don't bear false witness against your neighbor.
And he hugged me tight and whispered in my ear,
Thou shalt not steal, shalt not commit adultery, shalt not kill.
And he lay the palms of his wide-open hands on my head
with the Yom Kippur blessing: Honor, love, that thy days
may be long upon this earth. And the voice of my father —
white as his hair. Then he turned his face to me one last time,
as on the day he died in my arms, and said, I would like to add
two more commandments:
the Eleventh Commandment, "Thou shalt not change,"
and the Twelfth Commandment, "Thou shalt change. You will
change."
Thus spoke my father, and he turned and walked away
and disappeared into his strange distances.
the Ten Commandments not in thunder and not in anger,
not in fire and not in a cloud, but gently
and with love. He added caresses and tender words,
"would you" and "please." And chanted "remember" and "keep"
with the same tune, and pleaded and wept quietly
between one commandment and the next: Thou shalt not
take the name of thy Lord in vain, shalt not take, not in vain,
please don't bear false witness against your neighbor.
And he hugged me tight and whispered in my ear,
Thou shalt not steal, shalt not commit adultery, shalt not kill.
And he lay the palms of his wide-open hands on my head
with the Yom Kippur blessing: Honor, love, that thy days
may be long upon this earth. And the voice of my father —
white as his hair. Then he turned his face to me one last time,
as on the day he died in my arms, and said, I would like to add
two more commandments:
the Eleventh Commandment, "Thou shalt not change,"
and the Twelfth Commandment, "Thou shalt change. You will
change."
Thus spoke my father, and he turned and walked away
and disappeared into his strange distances.
As I become closer to my 70th birthday I am increasingly conscious of the reality of my own mortality. Although as far as I know I am healthy right now, I think about potential upcoming health challenges that may or may not be looming in the future.
When I had my heart attack, I had several important conversations with the case manager who was assigned to help me deal with the vulnerability that I experienced and who wanted to be sure I was taking care of myself. She commented that I had issues "being alone in my head." I would distress myself with imaginings and probably said, "what if" more than anyone with whom she had dealt. It was a revelation to me that I need to keep busy since I tend to overthink things.
I wonder whether I have changed or will change in the days, weeks, months, and hopefully years ahead.
I wonder how many of us have experiences where we have a revelation which helps explain why we say what we say and why we do what we do. I also wonder how many of us have the revelation that things that used to be important to us may have lost their importance to us now. How do we adapt to the revelation that we have changed? In our relationships are we cognizant of how our loved ones and friends may have changed and/or how our changes may impact our relationships?
In thinking about this I am inspired by the following words from a Joni Mitchell song, "Both Sides Now." (See below and particularly what is in red bold)
Perhaps the greatest revelation that I have at this stage of my life is the way in which she concludes her song with I really don't know life at all.
May the days ahead provide clarity and vision that all of us can gain and not lose and find meaning in our lives.
Oh, but now old friends they're acting strangeAnd they shake their heads and they tell me that I've changedWell something's lost, but something's gainedIn living every day
I've looked at life from both sides nowFrom win and lose and still somehowIt's life's illusions I recallI really don't know life at all
Shabbat Shalom, Sabbath Peace,
Rabbi Bruce Aft
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